A Letter To Beauty

Beauty and I have a tainted and toxic relationship. I wish to write a letter to Beauty for all of the harm it has caused me over the years, the way it's indefinitely played on my mind and bruised my beating heart. So here it is beauty... A letter to you.

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Though you are something within, you led me to believe that you weren't. You shielded me and prevented me from prioritising internal beauty. Your vantage point was deceptive. And in turn, my vantage point became completely twisted. But you taught me that it was right, didn't you? Yes, you taught me that there was a fault in me. You taught me shame. And you taught me disgust. You let me look at myself in a mirror and ignore my once full-beating heart, only focusing on the way my arms weren't as thin as hers or the fact that my legs touched. Beauty, you allowed me to find it within others, but you robbed me of that gift to myself.

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Your wickedness is unfathomable to so many, including me. Those who chase you lose parts of their essence along the way, their innocence splitting in half slowly like a flame burning a matchstick. Everything frivolous, like excitement, eagerness and freedom becomes stolen by you as you swallow souls down your throat until all that's left is an external physical body you promise to be deemed beautiful. Beauty, do you feel joy from every person who believes one of your wicked lies as true, knowing you've stripped them of something that can take years to retrieve? Beauty, I believe you do. I believe that your joy extends as far as jubilance, for you seem sickly natured. You know what the consequences of your actions are. You understand what you're doing as you allure people to reach points of no return. You turned me into a completely different person. How did you do that? How could you do that? Before you, I recall a girl who never stopped laughing, who was cheeky, funny and affectionate and now, after all of these years of knowing you, that girl is not me anymore. You broke me all over and tore me apart. Beauty, you are wicked.

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Beauty, I have one good thing to say about you. Only one. 

You allow for what is the most beautiful thing in the world and that is, to love.

You're there the first time a mother holds her child. You're there when a loved one gets sick, and everybody surrounds them in their arms. You're there when a family runs along the beach with their dog. You're there when somebody has their first kiss. Beauty, for this, you are special and irreplaceable. It's sad to think that you, something so perfect can have such an evil double face.

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If beauty didn't exist, the life I've led would've been much freer and happier. Despite that fact, the moments in my life that have been truly beautiful account for all of my losses.

Kisses,

COS x

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