Drunk In Love
There is a sea of young people who are refraining from alcohol, a fact I wish I'd been privy to throughout high school so that my perspective didn't feel so unconventional. Dolls, it's your body, your choice. Always. I write this post for you to be the prettiest outcast there is without anybody ever having to know you're an outcast. There's nothing prettier than a girl with a secret she keeps all to herself for beauty lies in the discreet, Dolls.
Pretty Girls Stay Sober
Shopaholics, a pretty girl is well dressed, manicured, hygienic, educated and composed. So vomit smeared across the mouth, hair dripping into a public cubicle or blacked out and abandoned by friends aren't the elements of beauty that quite align with Shopaholic by-laws.
Vomit is never a pretty sight but it also smells horrible, stains your breath and you're remembered as that girl. And it's not the good type of that girl with amazing fashion and nice friends. Pretty girls stay Sober, Dolls! Shopaholics, you spent hard-earned money on your makeup collection and well spent time applying it... Those are valuable assets of a pretty girl. You should be using your assets respectfully, flaunting your pretty face on Instagram, looking pretty as you jubilantly laugh with your besties and looking sexy as you dance the night away. Whilst throwing vodka shots and cosmopolitans into the mix sounds risque, it's the one too many that quickly smudges your mascara and it's the drunken kiss that smears your lipstick across your teeth. Your potential had been fulfilled and you just wasted it getting wasted. Pretty girls stay sober, Dolls! Finally and most importantly, a pretty girl starts pretty with her character so how can a pretty girl stay pretty with speech slurring, laughing at things that aren't funny and voicing opinions that they don't have? When a pretty girl has composure, her character remains and she can participate in a night wholely as herself without the influence of an evil twin. Pretty girls stay sober, Dolls!
How To Say 'No' Without Saying 'No'
Shopaholics, I wish we lived in a world where being completely yourself for all that you are was celebrated but sometimes it's less complicated to feel like you fit in. I understand that which is why I'm not encouraging you to make a political stance. In lieu, I'm giving you an out whilst allowing you to keep your cool. Mocktails are a godsend because they're equally as good looking as a cocktail minus the liquor! Their disguise means that nobody will bat an eye if you order one on the sly.
The moment somebody asks what you're having, why you aren't drinking or pressures you to start drinking, you can delay their inquisition with the simple excuse of 'I just ordered.' I've never been questioned further after using the phrase and it buys me time to ditch the person who asked, find a friend who knows I'm not drinking or get a cup of soft drink/water/a mocktail and pretend it's fruitier than it is!
My favourite excuse of all is saying 'I like to wait for more people to show up/my friends to come.' At parties where I've used this excuse, I'm been met with one of two responses. The first is an unbothered response that goes along the lines of 'no problem'. However, the second response is by the 'why' type, like the annoying 5-year-old next door whose only purpose in life is to ask 'why' everything is as it is. Dolls, you don't owe anybody any explanation and if they start sticking their beak where it doesn't belong then all you have to say is 'because I do.' If you feel the need to elaborate or if their beak is just a bit too sticky to resist, you can say that you're a lightweight so if you start drinking too early you're having all the fun before everybody else has begun!
Why You Have Just As Much Fun Sober
Fun? Sober? Oh, the ludicracy according to every popular culture film, high school clique and party. Alcohol consumption is mainstream media and I'm not denying that there's good reason for its popularity but I am denying that sober isn't fun, too. The number 1 case I rest is the fact that alcohol is classified as a depressant drug meaning that it depresses the central nervous system, slowing the brain's communication with the body. In turn, you're experiencing a night through a version of yourself who is likely to experience an onset of sadness, can't control what they're saying and has distorted judgement. It's the concoction for regret and Dolls, I Iike to know every sassy comeback, every flirty look and every slutty drop I give because I never regret a bit of sugar on my cornflakes!
I'll never forget the stories from my cousin's 18th but he did, along with every other memory from the night. I remember finding it so sad that he had celebrated such a monumental age with a house filled with his best friends, live music and fun, yet he'd drunk so much that he had zero recollection of any of it. Dolls, the memories that we create are the memories we take to our graves and a life worth living is one worth recalling. I have just as much fun sober because I absorb every laugh, every interaction and every dance with complete consciousness and control of my every word and action. Consciousness and control work coherently. As one fades, so does the other and regrettably, the maths for that is a perfect equation. The idea of waking up in a stranger's bed, blackouts of the night before and winding up in places unfamiliar terrifies me, Dolls! Nothing seems less fun than not knowing my surroundings... What about you Shopaholics?
Dolls, whether you're in love with yourself, life or a lover, you have every resource to not be drunk in love. It's your choice, Dolls, but I promise that being sober in love is worth a dance at the ball.
COS xxx
Comments