Hitting The Nail On The Head

As the phrase goes... Upon following my guide exactly, your nails, too, will be exactly right, Dolls. Something that began as a once in a blue moon occasion has blossomed into a weekly investment and ritual. Not to brag, but I have become the master of my pretty trade and I always spill my secret affairs to my lovely Shopaholics. I bestow every minute detail from shape to length, from colour to occasion, from price to maintenance so get out the toolbox, Dolls, because we're constructing a four-story mansion with a penthouse and a lakeside view.

From Shape To Length

No section, margin or heading of my guide is relevant if the fundamental initial step isn't shined and polished like a glossy french panel. And this fundamental initial step is finding your shape.

Confession time, Shopaholics: My short fingers look ridiculous with any shape other than almond because the almond shape elongates fingers to appear slender. The second confession isn't mine to confess. Unfortunately, there's only so much I can do from my end of the screen. Dolls, get off your juicy ass and set it down at the nearest salon for as many times as it takes to know the shape most versatile, most flattering and most eye candy-esque for you!

Dolls, I confess the ugliest of truths and give the advice you may not always want to hear to save a pretty princess from the embarrassment of being the only one not 'in' on the unspoken rule. Therefore, I confess to you that getting disgustingly long acrylics looks trashy and if you don't judge yourself for it, everyone else will. The longest length acceptable is two centimetres (beginning measurement at the beginning of your cuticle and finishing measurement at the end of the final acrylic product like in the above chart).

From Colour Scheme To Occasion

My indecisive nature meant that a relaxing self-care activity, induced dread and stress when it came to choosing the nail colour. Thankfully, Dolls, I now know that the colour scheme and occasion go hand in hand (pun intended!). Now, your colour options are much narrower because trust me, even a decisive person would become overwhelmed at the sight of the colour charts nail salons provide!

• White, Black, Red & Neutral pair with Elegant occasions.

Weddings, graduations, balls, operas & ballets fall under the category of elegant occasions.

• Pink(Baby Girl) & Other shades pair with Work & Social Occasions.

Dates, dinners, meetings, office jobs & sales assistants fall under the category of Baby Girl, Work & Social Occasions.

• Sparkles & Accessories pair with Personal Occasions.

A weekend away, clubbing, a movie night, a gig & anniversaries fall under the category of personal occasions.

From Price To Maintenance

I ashamedly confess to you Shopaholics, that with a lack of confidence and experience, I was fooled into spending over $80 for my claws on multiple occasions! Now, the absolute maximum that I am willing to spend is $60 (an average figure for others). I have negotiated a discounted price with a nail technician because I'm a regular customer and because I shopped around to find a nail technician who already ran cheap. For a full set of acrylic nails with weekly to fortnightly infills, I spend $55. Due to our relationship, I don't get charged for any nail art (eg. love hearts or cherries) which I ask for on most fingers. Another example of a discount I asked for is diamond art (stick-on jewels). She originally wanted to charge $5 per diamond and I reduced this price to $1 per diamond. Confidence is key, Dolls: not being afraid to ask for little discounts like these that greatly benefit your bank balance.

Dolls, when it comes to maintaining your sexy claws, you must take it seriously. What's the point of having a trophy if it's on the mantlepiece but covered in dust and cobwebs? The maximum time you can wait to infill your most prized possession is two weeks. If you wait a moment longer, the gap between your natural nail and the acrylic nail becomes exceedingly obvious consequently giving you an unhygienic, untidy and ugly first impression... yikes! The time has come for my final confession, Shopaholics: Once every 6 weeks we pretty shopaholics have to make a not-so-pretty sacrifice for long-term beauty. It's an excruciating week where we take off the acrylics, allow our natural nails to regrow and indulge in rejuvenating hand creams, treatments and ointments. After that week you start fresh and come out of hiding... do you feel a cough coming on, Doll? Wink, wink,

Cos x