Horror-Scope: La mode
Dear my perfect, princess Shopaholics,
Horoscopes are a controversial topic but when has controversy ever stopped me? You'd be delusional to think I'd stop at conversation and even more delusional to think I'd stop at anything, Dolls if it means sharing some wisdom from my very pink corner of the world. Some Shopaholics meticulously organise their day based on the position of the moon/sun, other Shopaholics call horoscope enthusiasts unhinged whilst other Shopaholics, like me, have a middle ground of horoscope fascination and coinciding scepticism. Whether you're a Virgo or a Gemini, you deserve to know the scope of your destined fashion hoorays & horrors for the week ahead, Dolls. Don't let speculation get in the way of fashion advice... that would be a fashion disaster! The fashion Goddesses are undeniably smart & when combined with the power of stars, they're remarkably wise. It couldn't hurt to read the predictions of all the star signs and draw on their most helpful hints & tips!
Capricorn (DEC 22- JAN 19)
My sweet Capricorns, today is your lucky day! The fashion Godesses are on your side so you better stay sweet before your time is up! You are not only able to negotiate your true desires but your relatives are gifting you something you've always wanted... I'm thinking vintage, vintage or vintage! The greatest horror for you Capricorn Shopaholics would be to stay on-trend. The stars have spoken and they want to help you embark on a journey of self-discovery, taking a chance at authenticity and accepting a little help from Mother dearest. It would be a Shopaholic sin to purchase anything that everyone else already has... it's your special time in the sky so take advantage of it while you can. Therefore Doll, your Hooray is investing in an out-there vintage item that has your pretty name written in hot pink all over it. Buy something that YOU think you will love even if it's totally off-trend and out of your comfort zone due to its colour, fabric or style. If black is your forte, the fashion Godesses are begging you to buy that sheer cami coated in sequins or if smart-casual plagues your closet, they're begging you to shop babydoll!
Aquarius (JAN 20- FEB 18)
Prosperity is in the air, as is your charm, Aquarius Dolls! Forget the moon and stars because it is the big golden ball in the sky calling out your name. The warmth of the sun is attracting admirers. Your scrumptious personality isn't going to go unnoticed so have Harry Styles on speed-dial- you'll want all the Hotties to know that this is your week to be adored! And do I have to spell out to you what the golden represents? Fine, I will. But only because it's too juicy to be left unsaid. GOLD, Shopaholics! Prosperity will follow you but you mustn't be impulsive. Use your good fortune wisely and invest passionately. Dolls, the fashion Goddesses have interpreted your horoscope. Your horror will be disrespecting the sacredness of shopping by using your newfound riches with poor taste. Your hooray is treating yourself to an expensive and branded item that is timeless and makes your soul ignite with glitter and cash every time you even smell it! Think big... think Gucci bow socks, Chanel cotton & silk noir dress or an iconic and timeless Valentino skirt.
Pisces (FEB 19- MARCH 20)
Being a Pisces babydoll myself, I simply had to indulge in this upcoming horoscope with careful consideration and acquisition for everything big and glamorous on my fishy horizon. The horoscope has spoken, Dolls, and all Pisces must beware of our pretty yet speculative brains. It is crucial that in trying times, we ignore our demons because they're on a wild goose chase... I promise you, Shopaholics, that nothing is there. It is with such a frame of mind that we fishes must overcome precaution, shift perspective and think outside of the box. The horror is brewing in the brain so procrastinating over fashion choices is a big no. Don't spend hours in the store or leave trash items in your shopping cart. Be swift with your decisions and let your instinct be your Shopaholic compass. Hip Hip Hooray to the sexy Dolls who resolve caution and small-mindedness. The fashion goddesses encourage you to buy quick and they implore you to grow. Grow your closet, grow your variety and grow your desire to be dauntless. My best Shopaholic advice is to click 'add to cart' using your heart. If you see something, your heart smiles and then your mind ruins the love affair, be a little cheeky babydoll... the fashion goddesses gave you the green light and it would be rude to get a parking ticket. In saying that, getting a green light in brown corduroy pants is disgustingly fishy and the fashion goddesses are begging you to drive sanely but dress crazily. And the best way to add a little spice to you, Sugar is with accessories. Handbag, gloves, sunglasses, jewellery, oversized sunhats, scarves and bonnets... may the odds be ever in your favour, Dolls. Take your pick!
Aries (MARCH 21- APR 19)
Aries, like your sign, in the upcoming week your head is in the clouds. Your deepest desires are out of reach and you'll spend your time overthinking the externals. Even as opportunities arise, the horoscope predicts that your loyalty will lie with your comfort blanket. It seems your biggest sin is biting more than you can chew and the hooray you must chase is comfort and predictability. Staying on-trend, sticking to the basics and listening to your brain is your greatest ally, Aries Dolls. Don't be adventurous and try making statements, instead play it safe with your favourite colours and style in casual clothes. To be clear, I'm not talking high-heels and I'm certainly not talking anything fuscia.
Taurus (APR 20- MAY 20)
My darling Taurus Dolls, love is in the air for you! As havoc surrounds you, your closest circle has had a change of heart and any turmoil that previously existed has been set to pause. Your many talents will be recognised and it is anticipated that you will excel in whatever you chose. This is the week to be a secret admirer and make your admiration for their looks not-so-secret. The fashion Goddesses are singing Hip Hip Hooray as you embody Audrey Hepburn or follow in Princess Diana's footsteps. You can do no wrong... Except for when you can. Although those who surround you are currently in awe of you, you mustn't get cocky because that's always an ugly look and it's a Shopaholic 'no' in the COS by-laws. As the stars light a shiny pathway for you to relish in your dream clothes, don't try to combine your newfound talents... stick to one admirer because not everybody will love you forever. Perhaps you've always wanted to wear something controversial such as socks with high heels. Or possibly a vintage corset gets your fashion juices bubbling. It could be an entire look such as Ariel's glistening diamond dress.
Gemini (MAY 21- JUN 20)
Gemini's, you're notorious for your stickybeak but it seems you've stuck your beak in the right jar of honey as gold invites itself into your life. The prize you've had your eye on is now yours. Congratulations you pretty Gemini Dolls. Unfortunately, it's not all good news for you today because you'll have to allocate some of your newfound cash to legal affairs. Just promise me that no matter your crime, you show up to court in an outfit that would make Elle Woods proud! Shopping is one of my strengths but so is an analysis... I am completely certain that my calculations are correct and all I can spill for now is that it's a great day to be a Gemini. Alright... I won't make you wait any longer, Dolls. You deserve to spoil yourself with your riches but it must be something shiny like your pot of honey. Say Hooray to sequins, sparkles, diamonds, gold or silver. But beware, Geminis... horrific Shopaholic by-laws indicate that for you to close your legal case, you have to sign a cheque and close the case STAT! So don't wait around to be the shiniest version of yourself. Shop quickly and buy fast, Geminis!
Cancer (JUN 21- JUL 22)
Cancers, unlike the disease, you are loving. But unfortunately, Dolls, this week your caring temperament won't be reciprocated by others. The word 'No' is on the horizon and to compensate for external defeat, you will have to find reward through completing the basics to the best of your ability. Cancers, sometimes pleasing the world with extravagant style and stunning statements creates an imbalance... It's up to other signs to take that stance. Considering your soul is the most beautiful thing about you, Hoorays are in order if you can learn to rely on basics. Don't complicate the world with zebra stripes and leopard prints, don't outshine the other players with daring fabric and transparent materials and don't invest in lacey and embellished items because you are the true masterpiece, sweet Cancer Dolls. Basics don't have to be so basic that it's boring. Us Shopaholics know that according to Shopaholic by-laws, boring is one of the biggest fashion sins of all. Be basic in an effortless fashion. Make it look like you tried without trying. Dream of singular material Winter fur coats in unicolour. Invite a timeless plain pearl necklace into your uncomplicated life. Attract all-white and undetailed lingerie. Watch out, Cancers. You're due to play Rocky if you play with terror. And terror lies in envy. If you give up your basic stance for a moment of flashiness and self-indulgence, the grave is where you'll lie. Keep your bank balance close and your savings closer.
Leo (JUL 23- AUG 22)
Hello Leos, or should I say Hello Leo because romance isn't making you a plural any time soon. Hooray to the Leo's who skip revealing clothes, romantic colour schemes and corsets or lacey lingerie. Sophistication is your new beau, Dolls, and so is black & white considering pinks, reds and purples are out of the question. Imagine yourself as a lawyer in a new firm. Present yourself with tailored suits, stylish yet practical shoes and fitted noir dresses. As opportunities arise for you, so will the temptation to be flakey. The horror-scope for you, Dolls is la mode qui est old news. You mustn't revert to prior knowledge and instead, you must relish in the platonic Shopaholic advice and embrace every opportunity to not revert to pre-loved items. The fashion goddesses are begging you to shop! Indulge! Spend! Second-hand or never-worn-before. It doesn't matter, Dolls.
Virgo (AUG 23- SEP 22)
Virgolicious Shopaholics, you're all quite the social butterflies. Relationship nostalgia flourishes as you connect with the ones you love. Next week on the Shopaholic hooray-scope is buying to your sweet heart's content. Don't overthink. Indulge in what brings you the most joy at the moment. Since boldness is of the essence, don't indulge in hiding... let extravagance, branded items and embellishment guide you. Whether it's charm bracelets, bedazzled high-heels or Chanel, I trust that you aren't a shopping Virgo-gin and that your instinct is your greatest ally. Like all good virgins, they've never had a relationship get to second base and it appears that even the most irritating people you know will surprise you. It's never too late to test out new tricks Virgo either in the bedroom or in the mall. Give the items you've made up your mind on a second chance. Perhaps knee-high boots give you the ick or perhaps it's cardigans. The stars have aligned and it's time to go shopping with fresh eyes.
Libra (SEP 23- OCT 22)
Libras, everything harmonious about your essence is occurring in external sources. Though you've made peace with others, there is uncertainty and incompleteness internally. Your inability to do things perfectly means you must reside in projects which involve old material, not new. Don't learn how to play the guitar, instead sing the lyrics to a song you know back-to-back. In the fashion-verse lies a dimension of vintage and it appears the fashion goddesses predicted a moment just like this for their Libra babydolls. Pre-loved & historic pieces will guide your star-aligned pathways. Your newfound vintage love comes at a price, however. Venus is challenging you with choices and she knows you find them hard to make. If you can fall in love with older la mode eras, you will be saving money and creating opportunities for newer trends with higher price tags in your future. But if you cannot be open to ballet skirts and ruffles, Horror is your fortune, Libras.
Scorpio (OCT 23- NOV 21)
Scorpios, I have a special place in my heart for your poison. Organisation isn't always in abundance for you pretty Dolls but this week, labelling and repairs will fill a void in you. Organisation isn't the only thing that you're taking more seriously. Renewing relationship vows & endeavouring in your true loves is long overdue. Considering planning and romance is your upcoming secret love affair, your hooray-scope is begging you to embark on a romantic getaway.
They say Paris is the city of love but it's also the capital of fashion. Paris is your muse, Scorpio Dolls. Dress with Parisian attributes. Twirl in mini skirts and bathe in silk. Let jewellery call your name and go heavy on accessories. Let stockings guide you and let long-sleeved dresses lead the way. Cheating always ruins love and your biggest fashion scandal involves running away with Prince Noir or Princess Blanche. Stick to the colour scheme of love and you will get a kiss before bedtime.
Sagittarius (NOV 22- DEC 21)
Sorry to end on a bad note Sagittarius Shopaholics but negativity and unresponsiveness cloud you. The only way to cancel out the hardship is by doing the hard work. You will be forced to do the nitty-gritty and invest your time in tasks you've been putting off. But as a result, new opportunities will present themself. The fashion Goddesses will be proud if you do your research. Instead of buying the first thing that you love, shop around and see if you can find something similar at a cheaper price. Buy staple items that you've been needing for a long time like dainty undergarments and satin pyjamas. It would be a great tragedy if you were to ignore the opportunity to buy smartly and instead, waste your money on chic items. Your bank balance will pay the price and the fashion Goddesses will put your name on the 'bad Shopaholic' list.
They say that fortune favours the bold, but I think fortune and boldness work hand-in-hand. Why pick one when you can have both? Be bold and listen to your fortune. Bust most importantly, stay sexy, Shopaholics.
Kisses,
COS xxx
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