How to Lose a Basic Closet in 10 Days

Ok so we all know the clasic movie 'How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days' where Kate Hudson has her Cinderella moment walking down the stairs past midnight in a dazzling yellow gown with her not-so-perfect Prince Charming Mathew McConaughey following behind her. This outfit alone is so spectacular, princess-y and iconic that I simply had to name this weeks Confessions Of A Shopaholic blog post after the film. I will be confessing to you the gorey details of my disastrous fashion choices and spilling the juicy goss on how I created my perfect wardrobe all in 10 steps. It's inspired by Audrey Hepburn and Victoria's Secret, it's embelished with lace and dainty bows and it's theme is vintage, y2k and fairy-living.

STEP 1: Manifest.

It's plainly unlawful to confess your deepest closet sins to the universe without declaring your sincerest apolagies to the fashion Gods. You must manifest your new hopes and dreams and you must think big and off the charts. It might go a little something like this... 'God, I know you're a woman and for that my recent fashion choices are obviously deeply sinful, immoral and humiliating. I wish for nothing more than to be provided with the oppurtunity to be absolved of my sins by embarking on a new trail of sexiness, elegance and glamour. I will embody the essence of a princess, I will make pink my bitch and I will be a fashion icon.'

STEP 2: Lingerie.

Every beautiful girl wears lingerie. I know this for a fact and let me tell you why. Nothing makes a woman look more beautiful than a woman who feels beautiful. It makes a woman confident when she knows that no matter if she falls into a bush head first with her skirt up over her head that she is freshly shaved, doused in Dior perfume and is wearing lacey, silk underwear for the world to see. My favourite search engines for shopping lingerie are 'vintage underwear', 'babydoll lingerie', and 'vintage y2k lingerie set'.

STEP 3: Depop.

Incase you were born like 20 centuries ago, Depop is going to be your best friend. She is reliable yet audacious, pretty yet savage and upfront yet outspoken. Depop is conveniently remarkably budget-friendly and every seller interaction I have ever had has been darling. The depop community is like a fairy garden... the fairy Godmothers give you the clothes, they turn your pumpkin wardrobes into marvellous carriages and their tea and scones come in the form of environmentally-friendly packaging and sweet handwritten 'thank you for your purchase' notes. If you're really lucky, some sellers will spray your packages with puffs of perfume so that upon arrival you smell roses and french vanilla before your hear the footsteps of your mailman.

STEP 4: Pinterest.

Pinterest is eye candy for girls who prioritise themselves over self-absorbed male actors. It's an online collage personalised just for you. With every photo you save, person you follow and outfit you like... Pinterest watches your every move and updates it's database according to your interests. It creates suggestions, posts links for shopping, organises your ideas, shares your passions, puts a lock on your secret passions and it will become your sanctuary for fashion, style and creativity. You can search anything from dainty lingerie to positive affirmations and nail inspo. I pour out my heart on Pinterest so here's a link to all my dirtiest confessions ranging from boards about me, tattoos and my crush on Angelina Jolie.

Pinterest

STEP 5: Model Off Duty.

My number 1 tip when it comes to your wardrobe starts with the word 'selective'. You must be aware of your fashion sorroundings ie. taking notes on things you like about the style of strangers, keeping up with fashion trends in the media and saving images of outfit inspiration on Pinterest or other social media platforms. However, the key is to be selective because otherwise you're left with a huge mess of clashing styles, menswear, womenswear, vintage clothes, trendy clothes, summer clothes, winter clothes... anyway, you get the picture. Luckily, in recent years the term 'Model Off Duty' has taken the world by storm with hurricanes and downpour led by Hailey Bieber, Romee Strijd, Bella Hadid and Jas Tookes followed by other celebrities non-exclusive to modelling like Lily-Rose Depp and Emily Ratajowski. The concept is in the title--- the style of models who are out and about looking sexily oblivious knowing full well paparazzi is around the corner whilst participating in casual activities such as shopping, grabbing coffee with other sexily oblivious models, or talking on the phone to their rich Daddies. The stylists, you see, are smart and purposeful in their approach. Their desire is to dress their models in designer wear so the magazines have a classy article yet they must style the models casually for two reasons. Reason number 1 is comfort for the models. Bella Hadid can't grab starbucks in high heels seen in Guo Pei's 2013 collection. Reason number 2 is that the models can't be so unattainable and put-together 24/7 because it distances consumers from buying the product and investing in their fame. Everyone famous has to have a certain level of humanity, otherwise the 'civilians' do crazy shit like take pictures up selena gomezes skirt or jump on stage to hug Adam Levine. It's like when Jay Z cheated on Beyonce... we thought 'well, fuck', if Beyonce can get cheated on 'what hope do I have?.' It sucked balls but atleast she was like the rest of us. Everyone already liked Beyonce but guaranteed not many people felt sorry for Queen B until after the fact. So grab your lemonade album, scroll through some pinterest 'Model Off Duty' and save that shit because stylists have already combined vintage with chic and formality with casualness.

STEP 6: Accessories.

I'll keep this step short and sweet because it's basic. But not so basic that you have to ditch it like your old closet. You have to be smart about it... strategic. You don't wear chunky gold rings with a puffy dress. It totally blows everything out of proportion because there's no balance. You wear chunky gold rings with tight clothes such as stockings and a little black dress to create texture. Black and gold compliment eachother. Make a beige checkered skirt with a tight white singlet pop by flaunting a beige Prada bag (pictured on the left) around your fingertips. Do you catch my charm bracelet dangling, sunglass wearing, lace black glove hugging drift?

STEP 7: Attatchment.

At the end of the day it's not models, designers or instagram influencers wearing your clothes. It's not a pretty stranger, your bestfriend or your sister wearing your clothes. It's you. And only you can chose your clothes. You can draw inspiration online but at the end of the day it's you clicking 'Add to cart', it's you receiving the package from the mailman and signing your signature and most importantly, it's you who has to love and cherish the masterpieces in your closet. You should open your closet and feel excited but the primary emotion you should feel when you open those closet doors is confidence. You have to know that yes... I, shopaholic sexy princess, will be making these clothes my Biotch. It's simple, respect you clothes. Wash them, hang them and kiss them. I'm not kidding. Kiss them like you kiss your sexy forbidden friends brother in the dream of your dreams. Have passion and lust. Kiss them because your clothes are your babies and you are their sexy milf.

STEP 8: Seasons.

Come sun, rain, hail, or shine it is always important to look the part and match the part. Building a closet around the four seasons can be challenging. Personally, my favourite season for outfit picking is Summer but I can't just ignore Winter and hope it goes away because it's not going anywhere. I have to make sure that come Winter, I have clothes which are fashionable yet practical. But considering I don't love Winter fashion, I'm also not going to spend my life savings on a magnificent Winter closet because I know it's not money well spent. My pridest confession is that I'm smart and you have to be too. Women marrying rich was so last decade. It's totally, completely and utterly in to be self-sufficient, money- conscious and business driven. So come Winter, I have 10 statement pieces which I can mix and match into 10-15 outfits. Be smart. Prioritise your favourite seasons and don't waste your cash on seasons which aren't for you.

STEP 9: Colours.

Colour. It can be your best friend or your enemy and when it comes to your wardrobe you better pray to God you remember that bitches birthday. Confession time... I organise my wardrobe by colour. Period. I don't organise it by season, the type of clothing or it's brand because you HAVE to be able to differnetiate between colours. When you have all your blacks side by side, you can see that black and burgundy is a nightmare, whereas black is dramatic and balances a baby pink. You can also see how matching browns with black is tacky, whereas brown combined with white is classy and sophisticated. Visual learning is my forte. Having a colour coded closet whilst drawing from colour complimenting looks seen on Pinterest and prioritising your favourite colours as the foundation of your outfit choices makes for a marvelous non-basic, non- ditchable worthy, non-vomit enducing closet.

STEP 10: Confidence.

Phew. You shopaholics are really wearing me out... 10 days may not seem like alot but it takes effort and heavy confession to set my girls up correctly. I really did save the best for last this time. Like Annie said, 'You're never fully dressed without a smile' and if you don't know my reference you have some serious confessing to do. In fact, stop reading. Annie education is your new priority babe. It's not enough to look the part, you have to BE the part. You have to know that Every. Single. Item. In YOUR closet is an item you can Strut. Your. Stuff. In. Now I am all for (in fact... I emplore you to ) buy(ing) items out of your comfort zone because that is apart of confidence. Being afraid to do something, yet having the confidence that you can take that risk is so important to testing your boundaries and proving to yourself that you ARE capable of things you aren't sure you are capable of. However, being out right ignorant or smug and buying over-priced or trop ambitious items is non- sensicle and unacceptable. It's a waste of money and if you don't truly love an item and you know that it just won't love you back then you are basically just being a player and we all know that can be fun... while it lasts. And the point is that being a player never lasts. Remember my fellow shopaholics, if you want to settle down and find Prince Charming, you better wear a smile.

Until next time,

Kisses x