Love, Introvert

Dolls, labels are a funny thing. I believe putting people in boxes is limiting, unnecessary and often harmful but there are certain occasions where I think labels allow people to find themselves through organising their ideas and feelings. Labelling myself as an introvert normalised many traits I'd previously thought to be 'weird'. The label allowed me to love me... Instead of being confined to a box, the possibility of connecting with other introverts who interpreted the world as I did became a possibility. With time, I have accumulated the fundamentals of being the introvert that is me...

It's Not Narcissism, It's Self-Preservation

Shopaholics, people often associate introversion with shy people, who sit in the corner and don't have many friends. My actions were not that of a 'typical' introvert. I always asked the most questions in class, enjoyed talking and loved making friends. This blog itself is a giveaway that I love communication. But my attitude and thought patterns were that of a 'typical' introvert and the two existed simultaneously. I've always needed a schedule to provide comfort and predictability to life which felt uncertain and overwhelming. Spending past a certain time limit with an individual other than myself led to a fear of losing control over my ability to have enjoyment with them. I also fear confrontation will arise once we've discussed what's at the forefront of our minds like boys, family and school. Or worse, what if at the end of that we're only left with small talk? Or worse, worse, what if they judge me? Shopaholics, underlying everything is being scared of saying the wrong thing. I preach confidence because it didn't come naturally to me and I want all my pretty Dolls to know that if I attained it, you most certainly will. You see, spending a lot of time by myself was never narcissistic. It's that I'm safe by myself... free of the fear of being disliked or engaging in gossip that I don't care for. You know what I say about gossip, Dolls... pretty girls don't do it.

Safe People

Dolls, once I understood that there were certain people I classified as 'safe', the world seemed a little more hopeful. My safe people are few and far between but existent nonetheless. They are the people who I can spend extended periods with, endure conflict with and share spontaneous experiences with. When I spend time with these individuals, it's not that the fear isn't there but rather, that the fear doesn't consume me. For me, it's my Mum, Dad, Grandparents, best friend and friend with honourable mention to my pets otherwise known as safe beings. Safe people are a blessing because I know that when I'm around them small talk won't exist... if we have nothing worth sharing we simply won't speak and it won't be awkward. Considering social interaction is daunting, nothing feels more comforting than having safe people who don't instigate the sweats. Shopaholics, upon making this realisation, I learnt that there was hope for new safe people to exist in my life in the future. If I could find safe people, you can, too.

Fate Is A Lie

Shopaholics, society holds many expectations for its contenders and growing up, I dreaded the day when I would be forced to follow suit. Thankfully, as I grew into my sense of self, I knew that if I didn't want the fate that was laid out for me then I was going to have to make my own fate. And I did. I had been in school for 13 years and had absolutely zilch interest in attending university to endure more assignments with the additional expectation of the uni frat phase involving parties and roommates. And don't get me started on the marriage and children phase. It's not that there's something wrong with any of these expectations, the point is that they're not necessary and I wish somebody had told me that there were other pathways to a successful, happy and fulfilling life. Dolls, let me be your introverted fairy godmother and reaffirm the possibility of a beautiful life beyond society's fate for you. Education can be more tailored to your deepest desires nowadays with online courses and specified tafe courses, you can run your own business instead of experiencing painful interactions with work colleagues and a childless life is more common and accepted than you'd think.

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The pursuit of self-love can feel impossible when your temperament resides in aspects of society that aren't accepting. I felt outcasted as it became increasingly apparent to me that I felt drained in the presence of others, re-charging my batteries through solitude. But, Dolls, it is in solitude that I have done my best work, learnt of my strengths and acquired knowledge. It is my greatest hope that each of my sweet Shopaholics can see the opportunities that arise from owning aspects of yourself you once viewed as imperfect. The only thing imperfect about you, Doll, is the society that made you think you were anything less than. I love you, Dolls.

COS x