PERFECT SCORE
Dolls, music has always been a significant component of my life. Both my biological parents knew their way around a playlist and played the most timeless, versatile, tasteful pieces of our era throughout my childhood. This history bred me to become a song-writer, singer and piano-player from a young age. Overtime, there became many soundtracks that I associated with certain periods of my life. I think this was a blessing and a curse and you'll discover why, soon. But their imperfection, to me, remains perfect because it is a teller of a good score when you're made to feel things that no other sound implores. Are you ready to listen, Dolls?
CATEGORY #1
Category #1 is categorised by the artist or a particular album as a whole. It's a true, sweet package where each song is fundamental to experiencing the true perfection of the artist's ability.
Amy Winehouse: Lioness: Hidden Treasures
Every lyric of every song on this album is engrained into my brain. Amy is an artist that I relate to more than any other. She lived a life that was in many ways tragic. Despite her fame and popularity, she loved many people who misused her or loved her with a darkness that didn't have her best interest at heart. And it's as though the only time she could truly express how this made her feel was through her music. Whenever I had control over the music, I'd immediately reach into our glovebox that stored the Lioness CD for as long as I remember. It's funny... I knew the exact number that represented every track and I can even recall a few of them now. As a little girl when I didn't necessarily understand the meaning of her lyrics because the topics heavily referenced affairs, drugs, alcohol, cheating and sex, I could feel how what she was experiencing affected her through the raw emotion the sound of her voice conveys. I still think that in some way, Amy and I are connected. Despite her death, she's always been the one famous person who I would chose to sit down with and meet if it was possible to grant such a wish. If I met her, I would hug her, tell her that she was worth loving and that I believed in her. I never thought that there would ever come a time where I couldn't listen to this album but it's been nearly two years since I have. Amy and her music were there for me at some of my most painful experiences. I recall many a time where I lay frozen, crying my eyes out with my phone right next to my ears, hearing 'Tears Dry On Their Own' or 'Wake Up Alone' and gently singing myself to sleep along with her. Sometimes, Amy was all I had to cope. I'm afraid that if I listen to this album now, I'll be completely ripped open, experiencing moments of my life that have quite literally broken me.
But it's beautiful don't you think?... That someone I've never met feels like someone I've always known.
Missy Higgins: The Sound Of White
(Of most notable mention: Scar, Ten Days & The Special Two)
In many ways, Missy Higgins reminds me of my mum. I even think that my mum and Missy look alike, not so much now, but over the period of time where my mum sang me Missy the most. They both had that short, dark hair that revealed a contemplative, intriguing young woman, the type of person you want to know more about, yet something stops you from wanting to know too much. But at the time, all I needed to know about my mum was that she was my best friend, the person who would sing me Missy to sleep, the most beautiful woman in the entire world. When I hear Missy Higgins, I feel like my mum is in the room, holding my hand and telling me that everything will be okay. For that reason, I've played Missy the most when I've missed my mum the most which made me begin to associate many of Missy's songs with the moments in my life where I felt most alone. I always felt most alone when my mum was absent because like Missy sings, we are The Special Two. My mum makes me feel safer and warmer than anybody else in the world.
CATEGORY #2
Category #2 is categorised by one particular song. It's a stand-out song, phrase or lyric that compares to no other artist or any other song by that artist.
Mac Miller: So It Goes
The grass is always greener 'til I cut it all
Mac Miller's music is thoughtful and there's no other way to describe it. He doesn't say things he doesn't mean and so often, the depictions of his feelings appear cunningly raw. The first time I heard So It Goes wasn't the first time I fell in love with Mac but it was the time I fell in love the most. Mac is always coming out with phrases that perfectly depict the exact thing I didn't know how to put into words and its done in the most unexpectedly poetic way. It began to happen so often that the unexpected element became expected. I'm afraid of myself. I'm afraid to be alone with myself. I'm afraid of my thoughts, my interpretations & the way I understand the world around me to be. I truly believe that I am my own kryptonite and although it is mostly as horrible as it sounds, the times that I am brave enough to face myself in the face, my eyes discover a universe so opulent and exquisite that its beauty lasts me throughout the come down that is so hollow and hopeless that I never want to open my eyes again. A secret, Dolls? I cut it all. I cause my come downs. I cause my lows. And like Mac says, it's always green until...
George Benson: This Masquerade
This song uses the metaphor of a masquerade to depict the melancholic art that is mastering a relationship involving one: deceit, dishonesty & discretion. The word 'toxic' has become a synonym for 'abusive' in many situations nowadays but unalike to toxic substances, many people caught up in abusive relationships don't realise they've been poisoned until they're out the other side. This song is beautiful because it allows me to look at things through a lens that isn't poisoned: 'Was I really happy?' and 'Was that really love?' This Masquerade also highlights the heart-aching task of taking off all of the masks. It's when you're looking at the person you love, knowing that what you have is over and despite everything you tried, everything you said, everything you've done, that person, even when you knew they were the worst for you, was the one person who had the power to melt your world with just one of their touches, just one of their kisses or just one of their looks: 'thoughts of leaving disappear every time I see your eyes'.
Coldplay: The Scientist & Fix You
I remember mostly every instance when I've heard The Scientist come on the radio because when I hear that song, it feels nostalgic and important like when you see a person you love who you haven't seen in years. Whilst my mum was delivering me, this song was playing. My mum, for many reasons, felt aligned with this song during the moments of her giving birth and as her child, I picked up on her connection to it which has sustained throughout my life. Not everyone has a birth song but I'm so grateful that I do... I have a song to represent a moment in time that was full of nothing but excitement, love and possibility. Isn't that magical? As you can imagine, as I continued to grow up, I fell in love with the sound of Coldplay and became particularly infatuated with the song 'Fix You'. I've spent a lot of my life questioning my place in the world, my friendship groups, society, even my family. And Fix You allowed me to accept the part of me that felt broken, just as I was and allowing myself to let go of all my efforts to fit into a box that I didn't know how to fit into.
I believe that music is more powerful than perhaps our society allows for it to be. Whilst music is just an aspect of life for some, for me, the life I know wouldn't exist without it. The right music, the right artist or the right song can describe our feelings with so much more intensity than spoken word can. How does my perfect score compare to yours, Dolls? I'd love to hear your goss on this one!
Kisses,
COS x
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