THE BURN BOOK : Love, Anorexia
The Burn Book was founded by The Plastics from Mean Girls. It's a notoriously iconic totem for the group where they write down harsh truths and speculations about their friends or foes. Anorexia is the cruellest gossiper that I know, that I probably will ever have the misfortune of knowing. I share with you Anorexia's list of narcissistic, hateful & deceptive comments to burn the bitch once and for all. So, Shopaholics, pour yourself a glass of wine and grab the canapes... This week's Blog Post is juicy, shocking and marvellously evil.
The first category of anorexia's Burn Book is all the mean things that it has to say to healthy people. Anorexia feels inclined to be judgemental of those who are healthy because it feels threatened by the concept that people live fulfilling lives without anorexia. Also, it's easier for anorexia to maintain its reign over me if it has evidence that my life has more control and perfection in its presence. Initially, the comments are to people who appear physically healthy... an entirely flawed assumption considering anorexia can be severe at any weight. It is a mental illness with physical side effects. Nonetheless, those at healthy weights are judged - it writes in The Burn Book that it's wrong for them to nourish their bodies and greedy to enjoy food. Following are the comments made to people with healthy mindsets - those who share that they're hungry, those who share their favourite food or those who don't have a desire to lose weight. But I believe that deep down lives envious wrath for those who live a life of freedom - participation in social gatherings, mutual conversation about delicious treats and delight expressed over nostalgic holidays.
The second category of anorexia's Burn Book is the relentless stream of blasphemy to those who seek to help me.
The biggest anorexic sin of all is even contemplating help.
My anorexia has always made it incredibly challenging to ask for help because necessary measures of intervention could lead to force-feeding, loss of 'control', imperfection, weight gain & eating fear foods. This has resulted in me feeling stuck in a world of the unknown where I've felt desperate and scared for my life at times. Perhaps one of the worst feelings in the world is when you know exactly what you need, where to get what you need and how to get what you need but knowing also, that your mind will prevent you from attaining it. The nature of anorexia isn't a secret, however, and after years, my parents and my team are better equipped to challenge my mind. In turn, The Burn Book's pages begin to fill with spite at attempts of intervention, behaviours called out for what they are and noticing prerequisites to downhill spirals of restriction. The outcome is a hostile environment of standstills where everyone is afraid of conflict, turmoil and despair. The Burn Book by anorexia is filled with pages of resentful phrases and misconstrued statements aimed to disempower and hurt the voices of those who give a damn about me because anorexia doesn't.
Shopaholics, gossip can be exciting in the spur of the moment but its core is insecure. Gossip emulates dishonesty and sheds blame. This Burn Book is Love, Anorexia and spoiler alert, Dolls... Anorexia is NOT a credible source. I hope that The Burn Book shocks you in a bad way... Shocks you into realising the web of melancholy and sickness that anorexia entangles a person in so that as a community, we can raise awareness of the struggles and difficulties sufferers experience. The Burn Book isn't written willingly and its contents are separated from the fundamental beliefs of the person anorexia has a hold over. I believe it to be true that miracles happen and that one day, the Burn Book, Love Anorexia can be burnt once and for all.
I love you, Dolls.
COS x
Comments